


One Last Time

by AlexanderPeterson



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Forgive Me, Heartbreak, Hint of what may or may not have been previous Washington/Hamilton, Mentions of previous Laurens/Hamilton, Washington being fatherly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-23 23:01:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6133150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexanderPeterson/pseuds/AlexanderPeterson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Call me son one more time...”</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Last Time

**Author's Note:**

> Wow. Ok. Oh my god I'm so sorry. But there was a post on Tumblr and I had to do it. I had to. Please forgive me.
> 
> I ain't even gonna try to tell you to enjoy.

XOXO

 

Alexander chewed on the nail of his left thumb, his right hand poised with his pen over parchment, frowning as he read over the document in front of him for the umpteenth time. It was getting late and his eyes were starting to hurt.

“Alexander, you have a letter.” He looked up when Eliza came into his office and gave her a small, pained smile. He took his glasses off and ran a hand over his eyes and back through his hair, loose from it's tail after hours of running his hands through it in frustration.

“I'll read it in the morning.” He yawned. “I've still got so much to do here and...”

“I think you should read it now. It's from Mrs Washington.” That caught Alexander's attention. Martha rarely wrote him. If George had news, he usually wrote it himself. He held his hand out and Eliza passed him the envelope, moving to stand behind him, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. Alexander's shoulders stiffened and he set the letter down carefully, swallowing the bile that rose in his throat. “What is it?”

“Washington is ill.” He choked. “Martha fears he won't last much longer...” He put his head in his hands, trying to push back the tears that were starting to gather in his eyes. For God's sake, he wasn't a child anymore. He was a war hero, a lawyer, a husband and father. He had received many letters like this, he still had the one from South Carolina informing him of the death of John Laurens tucked away in a box. He had seen men die in battle. He didn't think himself above crying by any means, he just didn't particularly like it. But this... This was _Washington_. His general. His President. The man that had taken the place of his father. Eliza had wrapped her arms around his neck and she pressed a gentle kiss to his shoulder.

“You should go see him.” She whispered. She sounded just as hurt as he felt.

“I can't...” He shook his head. “I've got so much work to do, Eliza. And what about you and the children, I can't just leave-”

“Alexander.” Eliza's voice was stern. “Go see him. You'll hate yourself for it if you don't.” Damn she was right. “I'm sure Philip can help me run the house while you're away.”

 

Alexander left that night. The panic had truly set in after Eliza had convinced him to go. He started to shut down the same way he had when he had heard of John's death all those years ago. He doesn't want to think about this. He can't imagine the world without George Washington in it. He rode through the night and the next day, only stopping when he absolutely had to. He didn't think.

 

It was two days before he made it to Mount Vernon. Martha was surprised to see him.

' _Of course she's surprised to see you. You didn't send word ahead you fool._ ' Alexander scolded himself.

“Forgive my rudeness, Mrs Washington. I should have sent someone before me, but I left New York the night I received your letter.” He apologized, following her up to the house.

“No need for that now, Alexander.” Her smile was weary. “It's Martha, please. And I understand your haste. George will be glad to see you. He was just saying the other day what a treat it would be to have you come around again. I'm just sorry that it had to be under these circumstances... I would have loved to have had Eliza and the children here to visit.”

“I'll bring them all this summer.” Alexander assured her.

“How many do you have now?”

“Seven.” He could feel his face heating up when Martha laughed. But it wasn't cruel, she seemed overjoyed.

“ _Seven_ children Alexander? However do you manage it?”

“Oh it's not easy. But Eliza's a wonderful mother. She keeps everything running smoothly at home.” Alexander was glad for the conversation. For a moment he almost forgot why he was here. Then he saw the doctor standing outside, what he could only assume was the door to Washington's bed room. He froze and Martha gave his arm a reassuring squeeze.

“Would you like me to come in with you?” She asked. He shook his head, his throat had closed up on him. “Very well. If you need anything, just call.” And with a nod at the doctor by the door, who followed her, Martha was gone. Alexander stood, hand raised to knock for what seemed like an eternity. He was shaking, trying to compose himself.

' _You've done this dozens of times. Just knock._ ' There was a cough on the other side.

“Come in.” Alexander swallowed and pushed the doors open, letting out a shaky breath when he saw Washington sitting in his bed. “Alexander. What a lovely surprise.” He smiled. “Come in, my boy. Shut the door behind you.”

“Sir...” Alexander approached the bed slowly, his knees weak.

“There's no need for titles when you're visiting a man on his death bed, Alexander. It's just George now. You aren't here as a soldier, you aren't here as my secretary. You're here as my friend.” He laughed. “You know, I half expected you to walk in here with John Laurens.” Alexander's heart twisted. “I saw him yesterday. Sitting at my desk. I forgot for a moment that he was dead. One of my deepest regrets in life is that I sent him away from you Alexander.”

“He would have gone back on his own I'm sure...” Alexander whispered, sitting in a chair that had been pulled up next to the bed. Washington shook his head.

“He wanted to stay. For you. Don't think I've forgotten how close you were.” Alexander blushed and ducked his head. That whole conversation had been a mess in his mind. When Washington took his hand he looked up. Time had weathered his dear general's face but he was still just as handsome as he had been when they had met.

“I thought of him when I got Martha's letter... And how you were there to comfort me. Who's going to comfort me when I lose you...?” He squeezed Washington's hand, their fingers lacing together in an all too familiar way. They sat in silence for some time before Washington spoke again, his voice strained from his sore throat.

“You've grown so much.” There was fondness there. “You're so different from the boy I met all those years ago. And yet...” He paused to cough. “You're very much the same.”

“How so?”

“Your eyes. They have the same spark as they did then, and the same dark circles.” A gentle hand caressed Alexander's cheek, his thumb running under his eye. “You still don't sleep I take it?” Alexander shook his head.

“Not nearly enough.” He answered. “Busy with work. And I still have nightmares. I've taken to sleeping in my study. I tend to wake Eliza.” Washington nodded sympathetically.

“I'm sorry, son. Sorry. Alexander.” He amended himself quickly, Alexander remembered his outburst from his time in the military when he had told Washington not to call him 'son' anymore. He knew it didn't mean anything, but growing up without a father had played with his mind. He couldn't stand the thought of someone he thought so highly of, thinking of him as a son. It was too good to be true.

“No, it's... It's okay.” He kept his eyes down, the sheets on the bed suddenly very interesting. “I don't mind...”

“I don't want you to mourn me like that Alexander.”

“I would anyway. I've always seen you as a father. Well...” He laughed. “Almost always.” He looked back up, grinning mischievously.

“Now those are fond memories.” Washington coughed through his laughter and Alexander grabbed the glass of water from the bedside table to hand it to him. The moment had passed and there was silence again. “I would have given anything for a son like you, Alexander. You've made me so proud.” For all his trying, Alexander couldn't stop his tears now. He leaned forward to rest his head against Washington's arm, letting the tears fall. He couldn't speak. There were too many things he wanted to say, but he couldn't bring himself to utter them.

“Thank you...” He finally whispered. “You have no idea what that means to me...”

“George? Alexander?” Martha stepped back into the room sometime later after knocking softly. “It's late. You should both rest. I can show you to a guest room Alexander.”

“I'll be with you in a moment... I just have a few more things to say.” Martha nodded and left again quietly. “Sir... Thank you... For everything. If it weren't for you I wouldn't be alive today.” Alexander's voice was tense. “I feel like I can't say it enough.”

“You don't need to thank me.” Washington rested his hand on his shoulder.

“I love you.” Alexander trembled when he said it. He hadn't said those words to his general in years. But it was still as true as it had been the first time he said it.

“I love you too Alexander.” Washington smiled, squeezing his hand and bringing it up to kiss his knuckles.

“Sir...?”

“Yes?” Alexander swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Call me son one more time...” Washington reached up to put a hand behind Alexander's neck and pulled him down, kissing his forehead gently, his lips were dry and hot from fever and the contact almost burned, but Alexander couldn't pull away. This was something he wanted to remember for the rest of his life. He wanted to keep this closeness and it felt like Washington pulled away far too soon.

“Go get some sleep.” His voice dropped to a whisper, the soreness of his throat taking it's toll after their hours of talking. “I'll see you in the morning son.”

“I'll see you in the morning father.” Alexander choked on the last word. While he had often thought of calling the general 'father', he had never said it out loud. He reluctantly pulled his hand away and backed toward the door, watching Washington the whole time. He was smiling, his wise eyes brimming with tears. Alex smiled back before turning on his heal and walking down the hall as quick as he could, to where Martha was waiting for him.

“Feel free to stay as long as you'd like.” Martha kissed him on both cheeks, holding his hand in hers gently. “I'll wake you if anything changes.”

“Thank you...”

 

Sleep didn't come easily that night. It never did, but tonight, with his general, his adoptive father, one of his closest friends, sick in the next room, Alexander was plagued with memories of being sick with his mother and of John's death. And when he did fall asleep it didn't last long, as he was woken up just a couple hours later by Martha.

“I'm sorry Alexander...” She whispered, sitting on the edge of his bed, wiping her eyes.

“No...”

“George told me to give this to you.” She handed him an envelope with his name printed neatly across the front. “Please, go back to sleep if you can...”

He couldn't.

 

…...

 

It took Alexander two weeks to bring himself to open the letter that Washington had written him. He had locked himself away in his study, only shaking his head when Eliza asked how he was.

 

' _Alexander,_

_I don't have as much time as I'd like to write you this letter. I can only hope that what I can manage will accurately convey what I feel. You were a fine young man when I met you. You impressed me more than most of the men I've ever served with through my life. You reminded me so much of myself at your age. I watched you grow and learn and fight your way to the life you have now and I'm so proud to have been able to witness it._

_You give me hope that this Nation that we built together will stand the test of time. Keep the dreams of our dear Nation in your heart and never turn your back on what you stand for. For if you stand for nothing you will fall for anything._

_You were a better son than I could have ever hoped for, and I can only hope that I, in some way, helped to fill the void that your own father left when he left you and your mother._

_Stay true to your love. Be the man I know you can be. I can only hope that we will meet again someday. But do not rush. You have many years before you, and I wish only for your happiness and prosperity._

 

_Forever your father as you will be forever my son,_

_George Washington'_

 

XOXO

 

**Author's Note:**

> All comments, kudos and bookmarks are so very, very appreciated.
> 
>  
> 
> All my love,  
> Kay


End file.
